[London, UK - April 1, 2022] Omnipresent, the remote work employment partner, today announced the shocking news that their global team of more than 230 people is being asked to “head to the office” after more than two years working as a purely remote company. Company employees are being asked to start working on-site at the newly acquired company headquarters in London, UK, on Apryll Falls Street as of today.
The globally distributed team, hailing from all four corners of the world, is making arrangements to begin their commute to the office. This will include the mammoth task of relocating employees from more than 40 countries to London. To incentivize staff, many of whom have reservations, Omnipresent will provide Pizza Tuesdays, a ball pit, and Friday drinks in the office.
“The remote work exercise we’ve experienced for more than two years is clearly impossible to continue,” said Joks Onyu, Omnipresent’s newly appointed Office Manager. “Working together in one time zone and in one office will ensure our team is more productive and attends many more face-to-face meetings. Remote work and hybrid work have simply not worked for our company, despite having grown to a diverse team of more than 230 people and growing our revenue 25X. Our new focus is on having a global company that works in sync from London, between our precise hours of operation. We are extremely excited to start this new phase - but only in the office.”
While companies worldwide have seen a surge in productivity over the past two years through remote work, and 58% of companies are planning to make remote or hybrid work permanent, Omnipresent believes remote work will soon be a thing of the past.
“We will continue to help the growing number of companies expanding internationally,” continued Onyu. “But we are getting ahead of the curve before remote work goes the way of the dodo bird.”
[Note to editors: Enjoy our “news” about Omnipresent and the obligation to have all employees work from one office. An unbelievable approach for a global employment partner, for sure. Happy April Fool's Day!]